Helena's Apprentice
by Faerynone
Summary: Helena, a priestess of the third rank in the Wardens of the Cathedral guild, is put on newbie duty by her guildmaster! Can she keep her charge (and herself) out of trouble long enough for her apprentice to become competent? Find out in this wacky story! I don't own Warcraft or anything related to it. Don't sue me!
1. An Important Task

Helena's Apprentice

_Chapter 1: An Important Task_

The sunset painted the clouds red and pink as Third Priestess Helena made her way to the guild meeting. The Wardens of the Cathedral had called her, as well as other members of the third rank, on a matter of "utmost importance", the messenger had said. While she was not one to shirk her duty, she was slightly annoyed that her weaving had been interrupted. With a few more scraps of Imperial Silk, she could have finished some Royal Satchels, which fetched quite a price at the market. Once those sold, she could make a run to Dalaran and get a loaf of bread, a nice cheese wheel, and some wine to have a nice little party by the fountain. Perhaps some of those lovely Night Elf druids would stop by. It was a nice, warm day, maybe one of the males would take off his shirt.

She stopped that thought as quickly as it begun. She should not be entertaining such impure thoughts. She arrived at the meeting hall, a small, stone building in Cathedral Square. Tables were arranged for the meeting with an attractive arrangement of fruit in the middle. A hired servant bustled from place to place, making sure the area was clean and pleasant.

"Priestess Helena! Glad you could make it!" a warm, familiar voice called. It was Guildmaster Thomas Eisoth. He had been a paladin before, but a strong curse had befallen him. It weakened him, making him unable to perform his duty. Now he was an older man, and found himself better suited to leadership than battle.

"Light bless you this day, Guildmaster Eisoth. How do you fare?" Helena responded, stuffing her annoyance away. Really, there was no point in taking it out on him.

"I am as well as can be expected", he replied. "Have you had some of the fruit yet? The apples are in season, and they are quite delicious." He motioned to one of the fruit bowls. The apples were shiny and red, and looked amazing.

"I may have one in a bit", Helena said, nodding. "So, can you tell me about this important mission you want me to take on?" Images filled her head of what it might be. It was probably going to be healer duty, to accompany a group to clear a dungeon of dangerous things, or travel to a far settlement to give some healing to people who could not reach a healer easily. Or perhaps the orcs had finally mustered up the guts to launch an attack on Stormwind, and she would be needed to lend a hand. Nope, probably not that one. Orcs are not exactly quiet or subtle creatures, and she was certain they would be heard banging on the walls and making their barbaric cries long before anyone thought to call her.

Guildmaster Eisoth nodded agreeably. "Yes indeed, it is a very important duty. You see, the cities have become rougher places of late. It is near impossible to figure out one's way around if one is new to the area. There is a bad tendency for the folk to be rude and unhelpful. I fear this may discourage new members from their duty to the Light."

"So", the guildmaster continued, "we have decided to assign some experienced members to the new recruits. The experienced members can mentor them, help them develop new skills, and most importantly, offer moral support when they most need it. Your charge will be developing the same skills you have, so it should be easy for you."

Helena understood immediately what the guildmaster meant. She had seen many a disoriented person try to ask directions from passersby, and few did more than allow their mount to fart in their direction. The ones who did do more were not very pleasant either. "Go buy a map!" they would jeer, either oblivious or uncaring that the poor person probably had less than 10 copper to his name after buying whatever weapon he had. Not to mention taxes were no picnic under King Varian. Westfall was proof of that.

Still, she was slightly uncomfortable with that becoming her problem. "So, newbie duty", she said, disappointedly. "Please tell me I will end up with someone that knows their staff from a hole in the ground." She could think of other problems, too. She remembered the outright _idiots _showing up in the cathedral in a glorified bathrobe bragging about the rat they had killed on the way there, making themselves out to be great warriors. The rat size got bigger each time the story was told. She couldn't help it. She rolled her eyes.

The guildmaster chuckled. "I'm sure it will be fine. Your charge will turn out a fine priest if you are patient. You will have some time to get acquainted tomorrow." He turned toward the front of the room to discuss something with another person that was taking what looked like some props out of a chest.

Helena wasn't sure about that. She decided to try not to think about it too much, instead distracting herself with one of the apples from the fruit bowl. It was just as good as Guildmaster Eisoth had said. It was crisp, juicy, and sweet. As she enjoyed the apple, the other third ranked guild members started to file in. There was Astorian, the mage from the Wizard's Tower, who often cast portals for the guild when they went on their hunts. There was Ghath, the hulking draenei warrior, and his sister, Atossa. Erenae and her squad of young paladins found a seat near the front, their armor clanking as they moved.

Helena suddenly had a bad feeling. She stopped short of a bite as the apple she was holding suddenly rotted in her hands. She turned to see Kirath, one of those "death knights", staring at her smugly with cold blue eyes. Why the Alliance had accepted these abominations, she could only guess. "Kirath", she said coldly. "If you wanted an apple, why didn't you just ask?"

Kirath responded with what sounded like a snicker. "I don't want an apple. I want to eat your brains out of your skull."

One can't show weakness to a death knight, she thought. She let a sarcastic smile creep over her face. "Poor dear", she replied. "It must be tough to have a rotting brain. No wonder you want to steal mine. It must be in much better condition than yours."

Kirath did not seem pleased, and started to raise her polearm. "Oh dear, are you getting cranky? You must have gotten a boo-boo somewhere." Helena's hands started to glow, and she sent the heal spell right through Kirath's rotting skin.

Kirath jumped back suddenly. Helena smiled. Undead do not like normal heal spells. To heal an undead properly, one has to use a specialized spell, one that uses shadow energy. But she wasn't about to mess with that shadow nonsense.

The death knight looked like she was about to strike, but looked around the room and seemed to think better of it. A few people were staring now. Someone from a dark corner of the room called her, and thankfully distracted her for now. The guildmaster clapped for silence as a few gnomes found their seats around a low table. Helena tried not to picture them all in bibs and diapers. It was not easy.

The guildmaster clapped for silence again, and after thanking them all for attending, he announced the mentorship program. The news was received with mixed emotions. Helena stifled a giggle as she imagined Kirath trying to teach another death knight. What a train wrecker that would be.

After various other announcements on upcoming guild events, the guildmaster introduced the man who had been taking the props out of the bag as Darron Cartwright. He had been invited as a guest speaker to give some coaching on mentorship. He spent the next hour explaining what new people needed to know the most, things most recruits lacked at first, and some effective training techniques. He demonstrated active listening, correct tone, and tried to instill in the audience a diplomatic speaking method.

Frankly, Helena couldn't see the point. Whenever someone got told what to do or how to think, it made them reject it immediately, it seemed. But she wasn't about to say it. Fortunately for her, a brave hunter did it for her. "How is this going to be useful?" Joryn asked, doubtfully. "People are idiots; they'll be stupid no matter what you say."

Darron smiled. Helena got the impression he heard this a lot. "Let me tell you a story", he said. "Once, long ago, in the kingdom of Arathor, there was an odd man named Clyde. His house was always in disrepair, and his hair was always disheveled."

"Because he was such an unkempt individual", Darron continued, "people would laugh at him. He was insulted every day for his appearance, his house, and any other thing they could think of. And he would sling it right back. He would become belligerent over any slight."

"What an idiot! Hahahahaha!" someone chimed in.

"There were certainly many people who agreed with that statement", Darron nodded. "All had given up on him, except for one; a clever young man by the name of Tirion. Tirion knew well enough that insults did not work on Clyde, so he tried a different approach. Instead of greeting him with insults, he sent a friendly greeting his way. He sent over good food when he had extra, and helped Clyde when his farm equipment needed fixing. Now it didn't happen right away, but eventually Clyde began to open up to him. His relatives had died early in his life, and therefore he had not learned all the normal things."

Darron, noticing that the room had grown silent, continued. "So Tirion began to teach Clyde the stuff he was missing. He taught him how to paint the house nicely, how to repair the broken furniture. He took him to a woodshop, and had him observe how the woodcutters shaped beams to the size they needed. He even spent some silver to buy Clyde a good quality saw, so he could make things on his own. Eventually Clyde's house was pretty and well-kept, and the insults about his house stopped. Tirion then began to make recommendations on personal hygiene, and showed him where he could find some good soap to use. He also took him to the barber, and Clyde picked out a style that he liked. Now, Clyde looked more well-groomed, and people stopped insulting him entirely. He made many friends, now that he had earned their respect."

"So you see, you shouldn't just assume people are idiots", Darron explained. "Ignorance and stupidity look exactly the same, and there is no way of telling which is which unless you take the time to suggest something better. If you want less stupid people in the worlds, educate them."

Helena hadn't thought of that. She decided she would try that if her charge started acting like an idiot. Maybe it would even work on Kirath. She suppressed a snort.

The rest of the meeting passed uneventfully, and at the end, Helena had a pretty good idea of what she would say when she met the new priest. After all, they were both servants of the Light. How hard could it be?

She would later consider this a foolish thought. But for now, Helena made her way to the inn, and wrote a few reminders for herself before turning in for the night.


	2. Oh Gnome!

_Chapter 2: Oh Gnome!_

The next morning, Helena slept late. There was no need to rush, anyway. She had no duties to the Cathedral of Light today, and the meeting wasn't until mid-day. She had a cornmeal biscuit and some milk from the inn's kitchen. She resolved to catch a few fish next time she was out of town. Inn food was palatable, but didn't compare to the sort of food she could cook over a campfire. In addition to the fish found all over Azeroth, she could use meat from anything. Even her Scorpid Surprise would satisfy the grumpiest critic.

After she finished her breakfast, she informed High Priestess Laurena of the new duty imposed by her guild. She was given leave to fulfill them, and Laurena told her that other priests and paladins could cover her duties while she did what she needed to.

With that last worry out of the way, she was minded to visit Sibellia, the guild alchemist. A potion or two would be handy, and besides, Sibellia knew all the juicy gossip. It was amazing what information slipped out after enough Noggenfogger was consumed. Helena made her way to the Canals, and easily found Sibellia's little booth overlooking Stormwind Harbor.

"Priestess Helena!" Sibellia waved her over. "I have a surplus of Master Mana Potions today. Are you looking to get more?"

"Thank the Light", replied Helena. "I go through those like crazy. I'm also here for a couple of other things, if you don't mind; _including some information._" She placed meaningful emphasis on that last part.

"That depends," countered Sibellia, a rakish grin on her face. "Do you have something to make it worth my while?"

"How about some Primal Mooncloth?" Helena bargained. "I also have some Savory Deviate Delight which should fetch a good price for you, some Talandra's Rose, and a Moss Agate I picked up from an unfortunate orc in Redridge. I have some other things as well, but you'll probably need those things to make the potions I want."

Sibellia weighed her options, then decided on 10 clumps of Talandra's Rose and 5 of the Savory Deviate Delight. She set the other ingredients Helena provided to the side, separated neatly into canisters, then set about arranging the items in the display, keeping a few for her own use. While she busied herself with her tasks, she chatted about the latest gossip, with not much of it being something Helena didn't know already. "Have you heard about the latest new recruits?" Helena asked.

"Ohhh right!" Sibellia exclaimed, nodding. "There are quite a few, and they are going to be assigned to the Third Rank. Joryn and Chal have a human hunter named Chase and a night elf hunter named Illrion assigned to them. Erenae and her squad are going to handle the new paladins. There are a lot of new recruits joining the order lately. There are at least ten of them, and I can't remember their names. Ghath is going to mentor another draenei named Jajak, and Atossa is going to mentor a worgen named Fidelia. There is another worgen who is a druid. I don't know his name, but Firil is going to be assigned to him."

Sibellia continued, "Even Kirath has an apprentice! A _dwarf_ named Darst. Hah! That harpy will end up with either an axe to the face or drenched in ale before the day is out. The spirit healer will be busy today, for sure!" The two women giggled.

"Did you hear about any priests in that group?" asked Helena.

"I think so!" nodded Sibellia. She began to brew the potions Helena had asked for. "The oddest thing, come to think of it. It is a gnome, can you believe it?"

Helena couldn't. She could not for the life of her fathom how something so…_distractible _could have the patience to be a servant of the Light. Gnomes were such odd, twitchy creatures. They spoke in terms only they understood, inventing units of measure that made sense only to them. Getting a group of gnomes to cooperate was a frustrating endeavor. Getting past the units of measure was only the first obstacle. Debates _would happen_ over how many fizzlecranks equaled a gizmogear. Conversations with many of them were so filled with technojargon, one needed to bring a translator along. And what was up with those names? Slamp Wobblecog. Rillie Spindlenut. _Minigob Manabonk._ It was like someone thought up the most ridiculous names possible, and named an entire race with them. But for all their oddities, they came up with some very useful technology, provided it didn't either fail or blow up.

"Wonderful", said Helena through gritted teeth. "Healing and machinery of questionable integrity, what could go wrong?"

"Haha! Good luck, sister", Sibellia said sympathetically. She began to distill the various brews into vials. They were done shortly after, and Sibellia obligingly packed them into a parcel that kept the fragile items from breaking. She wrapped up the mana potions separately. "That will be 50 gold, if you please", she said.

Helena handed her the money, and took her items. She packed it carefully into the bag she had with her. The mooncloth cushioned it nicely. After saying her goodbyes, she took her leave, heading to the Mage Quarter, where she hoped to meet a gnome that was at least half sane.

The Wizard's Tower was easy enough to find. She climbed up the spiral ramp, and soon reached the portal room. Astorian was waiting there, with the Guild Treasurer, Frederick Ritzman. A female draenei was waiting there also, but Helena did not recognize her. Helena smiled as she approached the group. "I'm ready", she said, hoping she sounded brave. "Is this young lady my assignment?"

"Sort of." Frederick said. "It will become clear in a minute or two. The mages watching the portal are in communication with our contact in Ironforge. We're waiting for one more."

Helena nodded, thoroughly confused. Was she going to have two newbies to look after? She sized up the draenei. She looked like she could handle herself in battle. She was fairly equipped with mail armor, if not in the best gear, and bright spots of magic encircled her twin axes. Likely a shaman, if she guessed the armor style correctly.

She heard the sound of the portal activating, and shifted her line of sight. A small form materialized from the shimmering area. A green-haired, practically naked gnome began to walk toward her group. Merciful Light, no.

Helena could only guess why the gnome was not wearing so much as a bathrobe. His hair stuck out in all directions, he had no weapons at all, no bags, and he smelled like oil grease. The only thing he did have on was a pair of shorts. She tried to say something diplomatic, but could not utter a single word. So she clamped her mouth shut, and waited for the Treasurer to say something.

Frederick smiled, as if scantily dressed, greasy gnomes were an everyday occurrence. "Third Priestess Helena, I would like you to meet Mack Quarterspark. He is from Gnomeregan, but has been staying in Ironforge the past week. He is new to this area and will need a lot of help getting around."

Helena sucked in a huge breath of air, and managed to squeak, "Nice to meet you!" She silently thanked the Light that the gnome was named something pronounceable.

Frederick continued, as if nothing had happened. "Priests are not known for their ability to either damage or take hits, so Masaat will assist you." He gestured to the draenei.

Masaat nodded, but seemed to be distracted. Helena suddenly understood that she was looking at the gnome, and not in a wholesome way. It was the same way that a wolf looked at a small rabbit. Helena was debating whether to speak up, when Masaat seemed to get a hold of herself suddenly. "Treasurer," she spoke, with a thick accent, "I just remembered that I have not had food today. If you will excuse me, I would visit a nearby inn for a moment. I'm sure the priestess is eager to get to know her apprentice."

"Of course, my dear. Do what you need to do. Just be ready to assist Priestess Helena if she needs you." Frederick said, agreeably. Masaat started to cast something. At the end of it, her form changed into a transparent wolf, and she ran past the group with the speed of the winds, presumably looking for a food vendor. "You must excuse her, dear Helena", Frederick continued. "She has travelled all the way from Kalimdor to be here today. The poor dear is probably famished."

Helena nodded. Frederick continued, "Now, Mack will need a lot of help from you, as you can see. He doesn't appear to have anything he needs, and we are unsure of his skill level. We know he can muster a low level heal spell, but no one has seen him do anything similar, not even a Smite spell. Don't worry, you will receive some compensation for helping him." Frederick handed her a small bag of coins. "In this bag are 100 gold pieces. This should be more than enough to set him up with everything he needs, including a guild tabard. Please visit the Guild Registrar in the Trade District once you have set him up with everything else."

Helena nodded. "Thank you, Treasurer Ritzman. And thank you also, Magus Astorian, for your arrangements in getting him here."

The treasurer gave her a smile and a nod, and Astorian replied, "It was no trouble, Helena. It was useful for Rowan to observe portal theory in action, although I suspect it may take a few more attempts for her to perfect it." He gestured to a female Highborne mage attempting to concentrate on some sort of spell.

Helena smiled, and set her mind to tackle the task at hand. She turned her attention to the gnome. "So, 'Mack', was it? Come along, we have much to do."


	3. Crafting for War

_Chapter 3: Crafting for War_

Mack followed, but Helena wasn't sure if he would keep following. His eyes darted from this to that, analyzing, modifying, and possibly even performing calculations in unknown units in his head. He moved in twitchy, jerky movements, much like a young human child might after eating too much candy. The only hope of keeping him from running off into some inattentive elekk's path was to keep his mind occupied. So Helena ventured, "What happened to your clothes?"

"Oh that, haha", replied Mack sheepishly, in a voice much too rapid and nasal for Helena's liking. "Well, you see, I sold them, I did."

Sold them! Helena had no idea who would buy secondhand clothes from a greasy gnome, but she wasn't sure she wanted to find out. Instead, she asked, "Why did you sell them?"

Mack took a deep breath in before launching into a detailed explanation. "Well you see, I had them in Coldridge, but then I had to kill troggs, and I found some spare parts, and then the dwarves wanted me to take care of ice trolls, so I went into a cave and I killed one, but he had a handful of copper bolts on him, so I took a block of ice and put the bolts in it and made an ice pellet gun with the power of my mind! Then I killed all the rest, and a guy told me to give another guy a hot drink, but I dropped it and I thought he'd be mad, so I left the area and ran back to Gnomeregan with an angry mob of troggs after me, but then I screamed really loud and the guards in Kharanos started firing their guns and the troggs ran away. So I had a drink with the dwarves and then I got tipsy and launched a sheep in the direction of an irradiated construct and I blacked out…"

"Okay, that's enough!" said Helena, irritated. "Try not to get distracted. There's a place we need to go now."

Mack let out an excited gasp. "A parts booth?"

"No, the bank vault", replied Helena. "We can't have you running around with no clothes. The weather at night gets cold, and you're likely to freeze as you are. I have cloth in my bag, but it isn't…suitable for your level of skill. I'll have to get some appropriate materials out of my stash."

"Oh yeah. I sold my clothes in Ironforge. Didn't need 'em. Do you have any idea how hot it was in there?" Mack made it sound as if he were dunked in the Great Forge itself.

"I have some idea", she replied. She guessed any other response would set the excitable creature off like a haywire harvest golem. "But you won't have that problem once you put on the clothes I'm about to make you."

Mack's interest seemed piqued. "Really? How does that work?"

"If you do not wander off, I will tell you once we are back at the inn. This is not a good place for conversation. It is much too noisy." Helena hoped that would have a good response.

"Okay!" agreed Mack. To Helena's surprise, Mack appeared more focused now. It was obvious that he was irrepressibly curious about the world around him. Though his eyes still darted around to anything unfamiliar, he followed Helena to the bank. The guard let them pass to her vault, and the teller opened the medium-sized safe she had reserved for her use.

In the vault were various items, and Mack tried to examine as many of them as he possibly could without actually touching anything, since Helena swatted his hand away when he tried to pick up a necklace with an interesting effect on it. There were clumps of herbs he had never seen before, a few gems, some potions, and even some armor. On the right side, stacks of different cloth, thread, and leather were folded neatly. Helena selected two types of cloth, two types of thread, and a small box labeled "dye". Looking down at Mack's bare feet, she took out some light leather pieces, too. Then she shut the vault, making sure Mack hadn't thrown himself into it. Giving a nod to the teller, she said to Mack, "Come along, now!" and walked out of the bank.

The Trade district was always busy, but somehow Helena safely navigated them through the crowd, to the district inn. She bought some bread, water, and two apples from the innkeeper, and informed her that Mack would require a room for some time, paying 5 gold for the reservation. The innkeeper cast a key spell, which bound to a hearthstone that she gave to Mack, and gestured toward the stairs. As they went up the stairs, they saw a single room. It had a bed, a couple of nightstands, and some chairs. A cat was snoozing lazily on the bed.

Even in this relatively dull environment, Mack's curiosity could not be contained. He looked in and around every piece of furniture to see what he might find. Eventually, he emerged from one of the nightstands triumphantly, with some sort of metal spring that he found. He sat on one of the chairs, and began to fiddle with the spring, his intentions unclear.

Helena, relieved that the gnome was finally staying in one place, began to set out the fabric and leather. Considering Mack for a moment, she decided dark green would be a good color. If she was going to be stuck with an apprentice, she might as well use the opportunity to show off her handiwork. Dark green, black, and gold would be a fine combination for his skin tone and hair color. She set out a few lengths of linen and wool, and opened her dye box. She found the green dye, the gold dye, and the black dye, and set them aside. Reaching into her bag, she took out a small sewing kit. Taking out a needle, she threaded it with the rough thread, and then said a word not quite understood by Mack. The bolts of linen fabric floated in the air, separating into pieces. Helena opened the dye containers, and streams of dye flew from the containers to the fabric, until the pieces were dyed. The remaining dye flew back to the containers. Helena let the threaded needle go, and it floated to the pieces, sewing this piece and that piece together. Just as the spool of thread ran out, the robe finished. The needle vanished, and the dye containers closed themselves. The robe dropped into Helena's outstretched hand.

Reaching into the sewing kit again, she brought out what looked like three buttons. Saying what sounded like another unintelligible word, she pressed the items onto one of the hems of the robe.

"What did you just do?" Mack asked eagerly, unable to keep his silence any longer.

"This is a normal process in making magical armor", she said. "The assembly process will imbue the item with properties that will improve the effectiveness of your talents. I'm afraid that is the best I can explain it. To know exactly how it works, you might ask a mage like Astorian about the sewing kit itself. The dye itself might also be special. An alchemist might know. I can take you to see Sibellia one of these days."

"But what do those _plugdizzies_ do?" Mack asked, more intrigued.

Of course he assigned his own terminology to it. This was to be expected. Helena replied, more patiently than she felt, "These are called spell patches. This one here will size the garment to the person wearing it." She pointed to another. "This one here will keep the garment clean." She pointed to the third one. "And this last one will control temperature to some extent. You will feel a comfortable temperature wearing it, whether it is hot or cold in your environment. But it will not work for extreme hot and cold. Fires and lava, or a mage's ice magic will overload its regulation effect, and you can die from it. But the garment will survive, as long as it is maintained from time to time."

Mack looked as if he had just walked into a candy store. He stood up and eagerly took the garment from Helena. He found the hem the patches were attached to and inspected them closely, attempting to find what power source they used. Finding this method unsatisfactory, he put the garment down and began to fiddle with the spring again. "Say, any idea where I can find a shadowgem around here?" he asked.

"The auction house is the closest, but you'd need money for that. For your purposes, though, I'd suggest you do a bit of mining in Elwynn Forest." Helena replied, as she began to repeat the tailoring process with the wool cloth.

"Sounds good! Where is Elwynn Forest?" Mack practically bolted out of his seat.

"Hold your horses, Mack. You can't go there yet. There are wolves and bandits there, not to mention murlocs, and I'm not letting you out of the city until you are properly armed." The wool robe began to take shape.

"Hah! No matlock is going to get the best of me!" Mack flexed, boastfully.

"It's _murlocs_, little one. And a single one could eat you for breakfast. There are guards who can't get the best of those awful fish-men. The worst thing about them is that they travel in packs. Even if you could handle one, there's no way you could handle all their friends at your skill level. No, I would not let you around them alone until you reached at least the twentieth level."

"Let me around them, and I'll prove you wrong!" Mack yelled, clearly irritated.

Helena sighed. This is what the trainer had warned her about. Mack clearly did not know what he was up against. "I'll make you a deal, gnome. After I am done here, we will have a duel. If you are able to break my shield, I will let you have a go at the murlocs."

This seemed to placate him, and Helena finished the woolen robe, attaching other spell patches to it. Helena gestured to the woolen robe and said, "Can you wear it?"

Mack considered the woolen robe for a moment, and then tried to put it on. Something felt like it shocked him, and he dropped the robe onto the floor. He tried several times, to no avail.

"I see, you can't yet", Helena said. She folded the robe, and put it in her bag. "Try the other one."

Mack did as she said, and found that the garment fit him perfectly. He felt cleaner and more comfortable.

"I see now. You are at least the fifth level, but less than the thirteenth level. Go ahead and wear the linen one for now. I have to make a few more things." Helena started making more bolts from the scraps of linen.

Mack, noticing the abundance of linen and wool scraps, asked Helena "Hey, can I have a few of those?"

"I don't see why not" Helena said. "You can have three of each, but I need the rest for crafting."

Mack took the scraps, and went to one of the nightstands. Helena thought she saw a ripple in the air, and then Mack was standing by a pile of crumbly-looking rocks. Using one of the scraps as a sort of plate, he began to hit the rocks together until they crumbled to fine dust. Helena saw the ripple again, as he brought out a tube of something. Mack began to roll the dust into the cloth, using the tube to seal the cloth into a cylinder-like shape, leaving a tuft of cloth sticking out from the top. He twisted the tuft of cloth until it resembled a small string, using whatever was in the tube to make it stay that way. He continued this process until all the linen was used up. Then he took the wool, and glued it into one piece. He made what looked like a pillow, sealing this except for one end. Then he pulled out something from the ripple, stuck it in the pillow-like object, and appeared to press a button through the wool. What looked like legs and a sheep head suddenly poked out from the wooly mass. He used more of the tube to seal up anything else he felt should be sealed after dumping the rest of the fine dust into it. He picked up the linen cylinder things and stuck them back into the ripple, then picked up the wooly sheep-looking thing and stuffed it in the ripple, too. Soon, his hands were as empty as they started.

Helena didn't really know what to make of it. It looked like the gnome had just grabbed things out of thin air. So she asked, against her better judgment, "Where did you get all of that stuff?"

"Oh, this thing", Mack replied. It's a Q.W.E.R.P., a Quarterspark Wormhole Extradimensional Recovery Portal. I made it in Gnomeregan after going through High Tinker Mekkatorque's garbage."

Helena was dumbfounded. "Er….can I have one?"

"Unlikely", Mack replied sagaciously. "In order to duplicate it, I will require a multi-alloy buzzbox, three handfuls of khorium rivets, a captured black hole, a mechanical hamster on a spinning wheel, three hundred gold, and four copper transformers."

"Three hundred gold?! What for?" Helena asked, incredulously.

"For spending, of course! Ahahahaha!" Mack replied, slapping his knee, as if he had just told the funniest joke in the worlds.

"You can't make another one, can you?" Helena bantered back.

"Not for another month!" Mack admitted. "The Wiztech fluctuations would be entirely too unstable if made any sooner! The consequence of doing such a doohopper would level the city!"

Helena had no idea what a Wiztech fluctuation or a doohopper was, but she got the impression Mack believed making another one was a bad idea. She decided to let the subject drop until a month had passed. She was pretty sure arguing over it would be pointless.

While Mack had done his crafting, Helena had finished a linen belt, a green linen shirt, and some linen pants. She opened her bag and tossed Mack some of the food and water she bought earlier. "Here you go, eat up while we have time. I'm almost finished with your armor."

Mack was hungry, and he had some of the bread. He put the water and the apple into the Q.W.E.R.P for later, and watched Helena finish his armor. A few minutes later, she finished all the items, and put away the remaining items into her bag. He put on the pieces of armor. In addition to the belt, shirt, and pants, there were some bracers, some gloves, and a pair of boots. There was even a cloak. He felt much more powerful. He would break Helena's shield for sure!

"You look like a proper priest now!" Helena said, approvingly. "But you are lacking a few more things. I will have to go get them. But I will take you to a place that will occupy you for a while."

"The parts store?" Mack asked, excitedly.

"There is one in that area", Helena replied. "But I'm going to take you to the mining trainer. Best you know what you're doing before I let you loose in the forest. Don't worry, you'll get money to buy some equipment."

"Woohoo!" Mack exclaimed, a huge smile on his face.


	4. Machinery of Questionable Integrity

_**Author's note: There is some creative license taken with the world here. Mack does not develop skills at the normal rate of a Warcraft hero. You may notice other discrepancies. Just think of the characters in this story as the exception to the rule for many things involving knowledge and abilities. That said, I hope you are enjoying the story. Thanks to PolyPtera and spacecavy for their support. I highly recommend their work as well.**_

_Chapter 4: Machinery of Questionable Integrity_

Helena didn't like to think about the Sons of Hodir. She was on good terms with them. After all, that's where she had gotten her ice mammoth, a giant mount that could seat three people. But there was something simply unsavory about the ice giants. The tasks she had done for them at first were simple enough; dispatch some iron giants attacking them, bringing some ore to Thorim, negotiating the reforging of some armor. But toward the end, she suspected the tasks they gave her were intended as jokes at her expense. Tasks like "Blowing Hodir's Horn" or "Thrusting Hodir's Spear". The innuendo was obvious.

This mount was about to be put to good use today. Helena let down a small rope ladder, and Mack climbed up. There are advantages to having the biggest mount in the city. No one can step on you, for one thing. Only one mount got in the way today, and that was a white griffon. One annoyed trumpet from her mammoth fixed that. The griffon panicked, squawking much like a chicken, flapping its wings and nearly dismounting its owner as it fluttered out of the way. "Oy, Cassie! Not so spazzy!" exclaimed the rider. Helena felt a bit sorry for him, but that's how it was here; push out of the way or be pushed around.

Helena easily guided her mammoth through the canals to the Dwarven District. Once she arrived, she gave Mack twenty gold pieces and dropped him off outside of the Mining Guild office, telling him to ask a guard if he couldn't find the engineering parts vendor, and to meet her by the nearby forge. Mack practically leaped off the mammoth; that is to say, he would have, had Helena not shouted for him to be careful. Once down, Mack happily ran into the building to see what training he could get.

Now assured that Mack would be occupied for a good hour or two, Helena set out in search of her go-to enchantress Asare Moonglow. Asare was an old friend. They had met while Helena was on a diplomatic envoy to the Temple of the Moon. The night elf moon priestess had ended up being her guide, and showed her around Darnassus. She even invited Helena home for a Darnassus kimchi pie dinner. Asare and her brother Ver'an spent a day on the lake with her in Darnassus proper lazily catching Bristle Whisker catfish and goofing off in the water, pushing the boat this way and that. Helena had fallen in love with Darnassus that day. She ached to see it again. But she knew this would not immediately happen. As he was now, Mack was likely to fall off Teldrassil after inspecting something on a branch.

Asare visited Stormwind City every month or so, and today she was in town. Helena rode to the Mage District, where Asare's favorite tavern was located. Helena understood why she liked it. The Mage District was lush and green, with well-kept gardens. Helena entered the tavern to find Asare and a few druids drinking (what else) Moonglow. Asare always brought a good amount of the strong drink when she visited Stormwind. Moonglow was a family recipe. Asare's great-great-great-great grandfather, Rallath Moonglow, thought up the recipe while experimenting with alcohol, alchemical products, and moonwell water. The result was a strong beverage that could send a bear into hibernation, and made you radiate the silver light of the moon. Quite intoxicating, really.

"Aaaasssssssssaaaareeee!" Helena yelled, over the sound of drunk druids and tavern music. Asare turned, and when she saw Helena, ran to hug her and put some of the moonglow in her bag. "Helena! It has been too long. When are you going to visit Darnassus again?"

"Not soon enough", replied Helena. "But there is a spanner wrench thrown into that plan. The Wardens of the Cathedral have given me an apprentice to look after."

"Well, that's no problem!" Asare exclaimed. "Just bring 'em along!"

Helena looked doubtful. "Asare. Have you ever observed a gnome for more than five seconds?"

"Well, not really", Asare admitted. "They seem smart enough, though. Didn't gnomes build the Deeprun Tram?"

"Yes, they did. But only after 3 attempts failed, and one attempt resulted in an explosion, draining lots of water into the tunnel. I heard a huge sea monster was involved, too!" Helena retorted.

Now, in all fairness, Helena wasn't sure this was true. But she'd heard enough rumors, and the gnomes' tendency toward magnificent disasters seemed to confirm the rumors. "Feh! If I let Mack Quarterspark loose in your fair city, he'd likely set it on fire!" she said.

Asare considered this for a moment. There was no engineering trainer on Teldrassil for a reason. Then she thought of an idea. "Heyyy. I think I know what we can do. You remember The Exodar, right?"

"Oh right, the draenei ship that crashed on Azuremist Isle", Helena replied. "What about it?"

"Well, there are engineers everywhere in that place, and I'll bet they could benefit from a gnomish perspective!" Asare suggested, beaming.

Helena remembered the look Masaat gave Mack when she first met him. She wasn't sure a whole city full of that kind of folk would be safe for him. But how to say this delicately? "Say, Asare…do draenei eat gnomes?" Nope, not delicate at all. Helena cringed.

"Haha! They joke about it all the time! But no, I don't think they do. They just tease gnomes about it because they are so small. I think if your apprentice goes to the Exodar, he will be fine. But if you are concerned, I can have one of our mages go with him." Asare replied reassuringly.

"Okay, that might work." Helena agreed. "But I'd like for him to get some experience before porting him to some strange environment. We'll take the slow way."

"That's a good idea", said Asare. "He'll increase his engineering skill with time, too."

"He'll need a weapon to defend himself with, with what we'll pass through", mused Helena. "In fact, this is part of the reason I came to see you today. I need a low-level wand for him. He's so small, that a mace or a staff would be impractical. He needs to be able to attack from a distance."

"That can be arranged", said Asare. "I have the materials on hand. If you wouldn't mind doing me a favor in exchange, I'll throw in some enchantments, too!"

"Sure, what do you need?" Helena asked.

"I have some materials for a mooncloth robe with me. One of the priestesses in Darnassus wants one. Could you be a dear and make it for me?" Asare asked.

"Not a problem, just hand them over, and I'll do it right now", Helena said, taking out her sewing kit and dyes. "Any particular color she fancies?"

"Just make it plain, it will be fine. White suits her best, anyway." Asare said, handing over the materials.

Helena took the materials, and started the process for the robe, as Asare took out a small piece of wood, and began to weave a spell around it. The spell shaped and carved the wood, and put a bright yellow glow on the end of it. In the end, the wand looked like a star on a stick, with what looked like pixie dust falling from it. Helena fought to keep concentrating on her tailoring. Mack would look like the garden fairy from children's stories, the one who makes fruit from the flowers on plants. She suppressed a snicker.

Asare finished the wand, then drew several sheets of enchanter's vellum to place the enchantments on them. She sealed the vellum with a note stating where to apply the enchantment, and set them aside, waiting for Helena to finish.

Helena finished the robe, and wrapped it in a neat parcel with blue ribbon. She asked, "Do you think she would like a Primal Mooncloth bag to match?"

"Maybe", Asare admitted. "But I'm not sure. Keep the materials, and when you are in Darnassus, see if she does."

"We have a deal, then. I'll see you at the great tree of Teldrassil!" Helena said enthusiastically, taking the wand and the enchanted vellum scrolls.

"Ande'thoras-ethil!"* Asare shouted, waving.

"Ande'thoras-ethil!" Helena returned.

Now that this task had been completed, it was time to inform Masaat of their coming trek. She took a quick look around at the Wizard's Tower. Astorian had left to buy some reagents, but his apprentice Rowan was there. She asked about the shaman, and Rowan directed her to the Trade District Inn. Thanking Rowan, she made her way to the Trade District. Securing her mount outside the inn, she entered the building to find Masaat sitting by the fireplace, idly finishing her plate of meat.

"Shaman Masaat, I hope you are enjoying Stormwind City" Helena said, walking up to her and taking a nearby seat.

Masaat replied, in heavily accented Common, "Human city interesting. All stone, wood, and grass and not many bright thing."

"Haha! Well, the materials in the Exodar are not common here. We work with what we have", Helena returned good-naturedly.

"I still give innkeeper this", Masaat pulled out a long string of what looked like crystals. A small enchantment had been added to make them glow. She got up, leaving her plate, and handed the strand of bright objects to the innkeeper, who accepted them enthusiastically, saying something about what fine necklaces it would make. Masaat looked confused, but didn't seem to object. She returned to her seat and said, "Innkeeper not know decoration."

"Humans tend to decorate differently than draenei. We put paintings and wood and stone carvings for decoration. Bright things like you have are rare, and so they are used for jewelry." Helena explained. "The innkeeper has likely never been out of Elwynn Forest, and has never seen the draenei way of decoration. Maybe one day a draenei will be minded to open an inn, a store, or a tavern in Stormwind. I think the people here would find it exotic, and the person would make a lot of money that way."

Masaat considered this, and said, "Maybe I tell Uncle Zherak and he want to."

"That would be wonderful!" Helena replied.

Masaat nodded, agreeing. She said, "So, you are ready to take gnome and go places?"

Helena replied, "Not right now. Rest here for the night, and in the morning we will set out. We are actually going to The Exodar, but we are taking the long way."

"Where should I meet you?" Masaat stretched, and turned toward the staircase.

"Let's set out from here. Mack has a room here, and so do I. Just make sure you have everything you need." Helena said, turning to leave.

"I have everything", Masaat said, disappearing to her room with a wave.

Well, that was that. It was time to go get Mack, and test some of his abilities. Getting on her mammoth again, she pushed through the crowds to the Canals, and then to the Dwarven District, where Mack was probably waiting by the anvil, she guessed. She was correct.

"So, did you get your training?" Helena asked.

Again, Mack took in a deep breath before saying, "Well, I went to two dwarves, and one told me where to find copper and how to make it into bars, and told me to go to the other dwarf to get a pickaxe, and then I got the pickaxe and found the parts vendor! I got a whole bunch of schematics and a bronze tube and a bunch of silver contacts and…"

"Okay, I get the picture!" Helena said, smiling. "Are you ready to test your skills?"

"Am I ever!" Mack said enthusiastically, climbing onto the mammoth.

Helena navigated the mammoth to the city gates. Mack's eyes were as wide as a couple of raptor eggs as they rode through the Valley of Heroes and he saw the magnificent statues lining the wide road. Squads of city guards went about their business, directing a crowd of visitors and patrolling the area. Little attention was paid to them as Helena passed the city gates and found a deserted area a safe distance from the city walls.

Dismounting, Helena quipped, "I suppose you won't blow up anything important here."

Mack dismounted as well, impatient to begin.

"Well", Helena said, casting a spell that made her impervious to damage. "Ready to start?"

Reaching into his Q.W.E.R.P, Mack pulled out something, lit it, and threw it at Helena.

The bronze bomb bounced off the shield and exploded. The debris bounced harmlessly off of the shield.

Mack made a frustrated noise and pulled out the sheep thing he had made earlier. Seeming to press some sort of button, he practically launched the thing at Helena. The "sheep" made a mechanical "baaaaaa" before exploding, the debris still bouncing harmlessly off her shield. Helena renewed the spell, as it only lasted for a short time.

"You are a priest, aren't you? Try your holy magic!" Helena said encouragingly.

Mack seemed to concentrate for a few seconds, but mere sparks formed in his hands. Making another frustrated noise, he reached in his Q.W.E.R.P. once more. Helena couldn't really tell what it was as she renewed the shield, but he appeared to be pressing a lot of buttons. Suddenly, a green beam flashed down from the sky and hit Helena. There was a big flash of light and a puff of smoke. She realized that the grass was a lot closer to eye level.

She tried to scream, "What have you done?!" but all that came out of her was "Squeak, squeak, squeak!"

"Blasterbolts!" yelled Mack, clearly upset. The Gyrognometer Space Particle Disrupter needs an adjustment again!"

"SQUEAK!" replied Helena. She meant to say, "Fix this at once!" Unable to cast in whatever state she was in, her shield faded. Damn it to the abyss.

Mack spent another ten seconds muttering in gnomish to himself, apparently trying to determine the problem, before he realized he had succeeded. He gave several high-pitched cheers.

Sighing as effectively as she could, considering her new rodent form, Helena gave a loud squeak as she turned toward Goldshire. She squeaked and pulled on Mack's robe with her teeth before he realized she wanted him to follow her. He followed happily, crowing about his victory. Helena was getting a headache. She squeaked disapprovingly.

Fortunately, whatever had transformed her wore off before they reached the gryphon master of Goldshire. She didn't relish becoming dinner for a bird of prey.

"Alright, Mack", Helena said. "A deal is a deal. You can take a crack at the murlocs, but I will come along and make sure you can handle it. I can't present a dead gnome back to the guild. But first, let's work on getting your spells right. Engineering tricks will serve you well, but what if something fails? You need to know combat magic."

Handing him the wand Asare had made, she pointed to a couple of training dummies. "Here, try out this wand. This will be an additional weapon to help you."

Mack turned it over in his hands before firing a couple of bolts at the training dummy. "Very good", Helena said approvingly. "Now, I am going to teach you how to call upon the Light to smite an enemy. Imagine you have a ball of the purest light you have ever seen in your hands. See it grow bigger and hotter until it burns like the sun. Then, throw it at that dummy."

Mack had apparently tried to do it before, but had trouble with it. The same sparks formed in his hands, then fizzled. Helena said, "Try it again. Quiet your mind first."

Mack tried again, but this time managed to heal the dummy.

"If that doesn't work, try focusing your mind into righteous anger", Helena said.

This time, a bolt of holy light flew from Mack's hands to the dummy, singing it.

"There, I think you've got it!" exclaimed Helena. Try it a few more times. If you feel depleted, drink some of that water I gave you."

Mack practiced for around a half hour, until Helena was reasonably sure he had grasped the idea. After this, she took out a stone with a mammoth carved on it, beginning to cast something. Her mammoth materialized under her, and she let down the rope ladder for Mack.

Once he had mounted, she set a course for Crystal Lake. It was not a far ride, really. One just had to get past Goldshire to reach it. She stopped by a fishing supplier on the way to get some fishing gear for Mack, knowing that it would serve him well away from the city. The supplier pointed to a fair distance away from his position, warning of the murlocs, but Helena assured him that they knew, and were on their way to slay them.

Once the fish-men were in sight, Helena stopped a safe distance away. "Okay, Mack. You see that there are many enemies. How will you kill one without the others coming after you?"

Mack thought about it a moment, then pulled some things out of the Q.W.E.R.P. He set down bombs and dynamite sticks in a line in front of him, then connected the fuses. Then, he pulled out another device, and started punching buttons on it. The green beam Helena recognized hit a murloc in the middle of a large group. The unfortunate murloc was reduced to a pile of ash on the ground. This didn't seem to dissuade the others, who ran headlong toward Mack.

Backing up from the explosives, Mack threw a match. It went off right as the group of murlocs hit it. Somehow, two survived the explosion, having been behind the now-charred bodies of their comrades. Mack threw a Smite at one of them, but it still swiped at him. Both were now snapping at him, and assaulting him with their crude weapons. "A little help?" Mack yelled.

Helena cast a shield spell on Mack, then ran to his location. Focusing her mind, she sent an explosion of holy energy in all directions. Mack felt his injuries heal. The murlocs toppled over, dead.

"Whoa! How did you do that?" Mack queried, clearly in awe.

"With enough experience, you will learn to do the same", she replied. "But now, you lack the mana pool. Such a spell would deplete you."

"Great! How can I get more mana?" Mack asked eagerly.

"It isn't that simple." Helena replied. "Your mana pool will increase as you gain in levels. You are around the fifth level right now, I think. As you gain in experience and use the spells you know, you will increase your ability to command more mana. But now, do you see why I didn't want you here by yourself?"

"They were pretty tough", Mack agreed. Can we go find some copper instead? I thought I saw some by the mountains close to the city."

"Sure, alright", Helena agreed. "But after this, you should rest. Here, pick up what the murlocs left behind first. They carry some things that merchants find valuable."

Mack looked over the corpses, and found a few clams, some cloth, and a couple of Longjaw Mud Snapper. Looking in one of the clams, he found a small pearl. Helena built a campfire and cooked the meat he found, so he could use it later. While she was cooking the fish, Mack found a large mace. He struggled to lift it into the Q.W.E.R.P. Helena tried not to giggle.

After all the loot was accounted for, Helena summoned her mammoth, and went in search of the copper vein that Mack said he saw. They found a couple of spots with some ore sticking out of the ground. Helena poked around for some Silverleaf while she was at it, and happily found some. Mack tossed chunks of copper into his Q.W.E.R.P. before cheering triumphantly. He had found a Shadowgem and a Malachite. He started babbling about Sparkscope this and Spectrogoggles that. Helena just smiled and nodded. No way could she fathom what was going on in his head. Motioning for Mack to get back on, she navigated the mammoth back to Stormwind.

Dropping Mack off at the inn, she went upstairs immediately. Never had she been so tired. Keeping up with Mack was exhausting. She slept like a baby.

Mack eventually retired to his room, but noticed an odd stack of books on one of the nightstands. It looked like training material he had read in Ironforge when he started his studies to be a priest. He glanced through the material before realizing it was full of things he had never heard of. He read as much as he could before passing out, the cat snuggled next to him.

The next morning, Helena and Masaat were waiting for him. "Do you have everything you need?" asked Helena.

"Hmm, let me see", Mack replied. Reaching into his Q.W.E.R.P., he pulled out some sort of device, and punched some buttons.

A bright flash occurred, knocking the three of them down. When Helena came to, the inn was nowhere to be seen. A turbulent sky raged, loose mana everywhere. The rocky surface they were on drifted to and fro on what appeared to be nothingness. A loose, drifting sign floated by, on which was written: "CAUTION! TWISTING NETHER!"

Helena screamed.

* _Ande'thoras-ethil—Darnassian. Meaning, "May your troubles be diminished." A farewell._


End file.
